The recent public scandals have brought childhood sexual abuse back into the public spotlight and so often the question is ask by well meaning friends and family, “why can’t they just let it go and get over it.” Sometimes the victims behavior effects them, but more often they cannot fathom the depth of the impact.
Childhood abuse damages a persons sense of self, making it almost impossible to attain inner peace and calm. Relationships at a friendship and especially an intimate level and difficult to engage and often impossible to sustain. Basic pleasures taken for granted by most, are out of reach. Romances are initially often an intense repetition of the abusive situation followed by an avoidance and usual withdrawal of the other. An abuse victom feels the pull to act out on others and must fight this. Those who don’t become perpetrators. Isolation is a common outcome.
Psychotherapy can help and is the best tool, but I’ve never worked with an abuse victim who was not left with some residual, regardless of treatment. Only increased awareness and social condemnation can lower the risks.
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